Where are the Joneses?

Big bad brother

Posted by Ian Jones on September 3, 2007

I love Ian – goodness knows I do – but my word, he conceals razor sharp
tongue in that docile looking head.

His calm features do nothing to suggest the savage cruelty that he’s capable of. He’s like a human sea.

Love & Light

Dawn x

picture by Laenulfean_wolves

Posted in brother, calm, cruelty, Dawn, docile, goodness, human sea, Jones, Joneses, razor, savage, sharp, tongue | Leave a Comment »

Signs And Portents

Posted by Ian Jones on September 3, 2007

What you looking at?

Something feels out of sorts in the cosmos.

Things – including me – feel a bit uncontrolled. Even nature looks wrong.

Posted in cosmos, feel, Ian, Jones, Joneses, nature, portents, signs, uncontroled | Leave a Comment »

87: We drove all night

Posted by michaeljk on September 2, 2007

Cherry Ledojo, the man in the windmill and a late night dash to Holland – this is exciting.

Although I didn’t get any dinner and I don’t think those wiener’s and Pelvus sauce agree with me.

Michael J Knight

Posted in black eye, bond, car, Cherry, Dawn, dead, dolphin, drove, Ian, jealous, Jones, Joneses, Michael j knight, Michael Knight, michaeljknight, night, prison, sister, thickest, toward, Video, worried | 5 Comments »

Storm Brewing

Posted by Dawn Jones on September 2, 2007

Something’s not right with Ian, I can sense it. His neck’s tensely rigid and his aura’s like a mucky puddle.

Love & Light,

Dawn x

picture by Karanj_storm cloud stackt

Posted in Joneses | Leave a Comment »

Bertolt Checked

Posted by Ian Jones on September 2, 2007


I got to know Bertolt – Wim’s chauffeur – quite well. He played professional football in France until he was 21, when a knee injury forced him to quit.

Then he spent a bit of time with a detective agency, where he got his little finger shot off by a gangster called The Roach.

He met Wim during a fight at a petrol station – Bertolt stepped in to prevent some yobs defacing Wim’s Mondeo with a rival sauce.

He says few employers are as generous as Wim – he gets his own maisonette and Wim lets him use the car at weekends and holidays.

Posted in agency, Bertolt, Chauffeur, detective, fight, football, gangster, knee, mondeo, petrol, station | Leave a Comment »

86: Wim’s treat

Posted by michaeljk on September 1, 2007

I can’t say I’m a fan of the sauce, a little to rich for my taste but Wim’s a charismatic man.

I’m definitely re-visiting the polo neck/ suit jacket combo when I get home.

Michael J Knight

Posted in all started, brother, candles, Cherry, dressed up, employes, factory, flavour, help, hotel, Jones, Joneses, meal, Michael j knight, Michael Knight, michaeljknight, Music, sauce, sister, Video | 4 Comments »

It’s a kind of magic.

Posted by Dawn Jones on September 1, 2007

Waiting for Dawn & Ian

Many people ask me what my brother Wim is really like – I tell them this: He’s a magician. Not in a rabbit-in-a-hat/dove-down-your-trousers way – in that he makes the mundane magical.

This morning he noticed I was bilious and handed me milk of magnesia – not in a glass but an ornate fez.

Love & Light,

Dawn x

Posted in bilious, Dawn, Jones, Joneses, magic, magician, milk of magnesia, mundane, ornate fez, rabbit-in-a-hat, Wim | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Ian Jones on September 1, 2007

Waiting by the car

Wim was talking about advertising.

He said that the main thing is to keep it simple. If you sell sauce, tell them it’s tasty. If you sell cars, tell them they’re racy.

If you sell diamonds, tell them they’re shiny. Anything more complicated and people get headaches.

I think he’d like our shop sign. http://wherearethejoneses.com/2007/06/17/day3b/

Posted in advertising, cars, complicated, diamonds, headaches, Ian, racy, sauce, shiny, shop sign, tasty, Wim | Leave a Comment »

85: Taste test

Posted by michaeljk on August 31, 2007

A celebrity sibling, well at least in Germany. I still can’t work out if that’s a wink or a tick.

Michael J Knight

Posted in beef, Dawn, dead, father, Ian, Jones, Joneses, lemon, Michael j knight, Michael Knight, michaeljknight, mother, Pelvus, sauce, seed, slogan, taste, test, Video, Wim, Wim pelvus | 1 Comment »

Private Pelvus

Posted by Dawn Jones on August 31, 2007

Wim Pelvus

Just got back from Wim’s. He didn’t want the camera there as he explained that (being a famous face) he’s fiercely protective of his privacy.

He doesn’t need everyone knowing he’s got 14 bathrooms in his house, none of which have a toilet.

It’s no-one’s business that he has a separate wing for Suggs memorabilia. And as for who he lives with – let’s just say I know what Yazz is up to nowadays.

Love & Light

Dawn x

Posted in bathroom, Dawn, fiercely, memorabilia, Pelvus, privacy, protective, Suggs, swing, toilet, Wim, Yazz | 3 Comments »

Beautiful Thingstätte

Posted by Ian Jones on August 31, 2007


Walking in the park in Heidelberg I saw some local lads doing some live action role-playing in a big amphitheatre.

They spoke a bit of English and explained it was a homebrewed system based on Hero Wars, Norse Mythology and something that sounded like Gnosticism.

They were waiting for a fat lad who was going to be a frost giant and had even sprinkled salt on the ground, to emulate Winter.

I’d have joined in, but there was no time to haft a weapon as I was meant to be slogan-hunting.

Posted in amphitheatre, emulate, frost, Heidelberg, Hero Wars, homebrewed, lads, local, Mythology, role-playing, slogan-hunting | 1 Comment »

84b: Is that him?

Posted by michaeljk on August 30, 2007

I’m never sure if an isolated car park is the ideal place to meet a stranger.

Michael J Knight

Posted in book, cell phone, company, Dawn, Dawn Siobhan, ford mondeo, hold me, Ian, Jones, Joneses, secratary, spoon, teacher girl, Video | 4 Comments »

I Sauce Sense

Posted by Dawn Jones on August 30, 2007

I love sauce. Ask anyone. Last time I did a big shop, I bought pickle. I knew then that condiments would play a key role in my life. I love being proved right.

Love & Light,

Dawn x

Posted in big shop, condimants, Dawn, Ian, Jones, Joneses, key role, pickle, proved, right, sauce | 2 Comments »

White Dwarf Star

Posted by Ian Jones on August 30, 2007


I’m not sure I could handle being famous, with my face up everywhere and everybody pouring sauce out of it.

At best, I might be able to handle renown, like if I got a role-playing supplement published. Fingers crossed.

Posted in ceossed, Dawn, Dwarf, famous, fingers, handle, Ian, Jones, Joneses, ladypower, published, renown, role-playing, sauce, star, white | Leave a Comment »

84a: Sourcing Wim

Posted by michaeljk on August 30, 2007

If Ian hadn’t have bought those trousers where would we be?

A kind twist of fate – yes, but I’m not sitting next to him in the car if those trousers retain their charge.

Michael J Knight

Posted in answer phone, brother, car, Dawn, Germany, happy, helpline, Ian, impersonal, Jones, Joneses, Michael j knight, Michael Knight, michaeljknight, purple, recklessly, symmetrical, television, trousers, tv, Video | 2 Comments »