Logg Goodbye

I drank a lot of different alcohols last night and I think I am still drunk, because I still feel focussed and perceptive. For example, I always thought people who owned more than one pair of shoes were either vain or indecisive, but I now see the value of a second pair: back-up.

Roger Logg has my clogs, and I regret binning my long brown canoes in Amsterdam.

20: The Man in the Windmill

I’m off with the guys to find The Man in the Windmill.

Marvellous. Who’s next? The Old Lady who lived in a shoe?
Puss in Boots? The Wind in the flippin’ Willows?

The Vegetable Auction Museum

I’ve been to every museum in Amsterdam and environs and at least three of them were brilliant, even though I only got to go in one. In order of preference I would put them at:

3. Energetica. Through the window I could see bits of giant machines and an antique radio. A good start for a museum.

2. Museum of Our Lord in the Attic. Not sure which Lord they’ve got up there, but am assuming it’s one of the less omnipresent ones. Thoth would be good. Or Hanuman.

1. Vegetable Auction Museum at Broeker Veiling. I’ve read a lot of speculative fiction, but nothing could prepare me for this. Remarkable.

Also, Mr Van Loon of the Houseboat Museum was very kind. Is he related to the Van Loons of the Museum Van Loon? I’m assuming a schism.

Listen to the voices

My Mum’s next door neighbour once had a strange sensation in the meat and
dairy aisle. She described it as a cross between gentle slapping and pins
and needles in her face. Two Tuesdays later she discovered mould in her
stairwell carpet. Coincidence? I somehow doubt it.

Love & Light

Dawn x

18: Sniffing About

Jonti Bloom is beating new paths in quality entertainment. Today I’m following some bloke and his sister as they wander around Amsterdam in search of a girl whom both of them know isn’t even in the country.

I’ll dust off my dinner jacket for award season, I don’t think!

The bulbs

I like how the bulbs smell better than the flowers. Muddy and good. I have always had an affinity with the earth.

When everyone else was charming Lizard Men, I could already summon earth elementals. And I always used to play a Lodril worshipper in Runequest (edition 2).

That girl played a Maran Gor acolyte. Until that whole Vingan rubbish came in. As if the Orlanthi need an excuse to allow female warriors – Orlanth would reward the bold regardless of gender – that’s the point.

I don’t understand

I don’t understand. Everybody speaks English, the chips are crisp and fat, it all seems quite clean and then they spoil it with distasteful signage. This man appears to have been shot in the tail, like that scene in Robocop.

Paul Verhoeven is Dutch, which explains a lot. Starship Troopers is in my top ten films and the resulting miniatures game is very playable, the Infiltrator Bug miniature being of particular quality.

Anyroad, I ‘stayed out of trouble’ and used the one back at the hotel.

17: Anything in common?

I have somehow managed to blag a meeting with a Dutch light entertainment powerhouse.

When I phoned them the other day the receptionist told me that their creative director Kip De Groot would be ‘thrilled’ to meet me and listen to my ideas. I’ve got an inkling she misheard my name, but either way, Jonti Bloom has a foot in the door.

Small problem, my meeting’s tomorrow afternoon and ideas are a bit thin on the ground.

So far all I’ve go is a vague notion about celebrities and their pets swapping places, inspired by a dream I had in which I found Gerry Halliwell squatting in a garden. Does anyone have a suggestions please?

16: The Ian’s New clothes

Ian spent a lot of our time in the flea market looking for the fleas. I could have told him that that would have compromised my integrity as a documentary film-maker.

Feeling good

I am by no means materialistic but do believe if you look good, you feel good. I strongly feel NHS counselling should go hand in hand with make-overs. Just like Trisha Goddard.
Love and light, Dawn x

Foreign ice cream

Foreign ice cream is excellent but melty. I’d had the coffee one it might not have showed up so much on my t-shirt. Ideally, I’d have been eating one the colour of terracotta, but that would probably taste of soil or plates

15: Van Gogh’s Cherry

Let it be known that this documentary will not be going anywhere near the red light district of Amsterdam. The reason for this is complex, well, it’s not actually. It’s fairly simple. I was the director of a hidden camera show in 2002 “shag and shoot” which involved British celebrities visiting prostitutes and running off without paying. Suffice to say that Jonti Bloom is persona non grata in the area and will be camera operating with his hood up.

Cars are just a tool

I never learned to drive. Is that a crime? Cars are just a tool. I prefer Dremels, pliers, snippers, clippers, files and paint brushes. With them I drive into a little world of craft-based adventure. With dice.

14: Dutch Courage

This is getting intense, steady Jonti. Lots of stuff coming out about their childhoods. I can feel another award may be within reach.

Oh, and a surprise admission by Ian.

Foreign shores

The ferry powered through the sea, bringing us closer to Cherry. Ian and I were brought closer by the dual experience of first time travel and unisex toilets.

Love and Light.

Dawn x